Holy Shit, Ben's in Israel!

Breakfast, Beaches, and Back Hair!

2010-02-14T02:14:00.001-08:00

While the East coast was snowed in, or at least covered in that gross post blizzard gray snow (woof), I was at the beach in Tel Aviv in 75° weather this weekend. Before the beach however my two lovely roommates and I had some delicious breakfast at the fine Benedicts establishment. This is what I had:

Jealous? What makes you feel worse, not having that for breakfast or the weather? Tough question, I'll let you think about it for a little...

...

Done? Have your answer? Good let's move on. So at the beach (did I mention it was 75 plus?) we tried our hand at this Kadima beach game. If you don't know it, it's quite simple: two people, each with a paddle hit a little ball (usually black although I think other colors can be used) back and forth. The tricky thing is I'm not sure if you are supposed to just volley or try to get the other person out, and I don't think you actually keep score. I'm also not entirely sure if some prerequisites for the game are to above the age of 50, have at least one glove on, have a back full of hair, and the leatheriest skin you could imagine encompassing your entire body.

Nonetheless, I suck at this game, hard. However, there is hope, my back hair hasn't fully grown in yet, so maybe when I'm 50 I can whoop my sons as at this game!

Live Blogging From The Library!

2010-01-25T08:49:00.000-08:00

Today I volunteered at library (again), and I figured I'd let ya'll in on what I did!

3:20 - Arrive at the library. Supposed to arrive at 3, I prefer to be fashionably late.

3:22 - Take a piss. First move to waste time, even 2 minutes is something.

3:24 - Show my face that I have arrived, chit chat about about some useless stuff, 6 minutes wasted.

3:30 - Put English books back on the shelves in their appropriate places.

3:40 - Put French books back on the shelves in their appropriate places.

3:50 - Read 30 pages of Cat's Cradle, there is literally nothing else to do.

4:20 - English help needed! Help Ethiopian student with English. Unfortunately the help he needs is on learning computer terms. Domain Name Systems (DNS) and Internet Protocol Suites (TCP/IP) aren't really my thing. I think I understand reading Hebrew more than computer talk in English.

6:00 - More English help needed! This time I'm useful and I talk with an Israeli who is just looking for someone to talk to in English.

6:30 - Although talking to Danny was enjoyable, one can only take so much time at the library, I leave 30 minutes early.

So there you have it, an average day volunteerin' at the library in Rehovot.

Joke Time (Warning: Not Funny)

2010-01-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

Once a week in Rehovot I volunteer at a library. It's quite an amazing experience. Not only do they give me the pleasure to put away the English books, but they let me put away the French ones too! I'm apparently still unqualified to put the Hebrew and Russian books away but I'm crossing my fingers that in the next 3 months I'll gain that responsibility. Finally, once I'm done with that rewarding work, I get to put up fliers all over the library!

Now, I know what you are thinking, how could this volunteer placement get any better? Well, I don't want to brag or anything, but the absolute best part of working at the library is the lame Jewish joke book (emphasis on the lame) that I get the opportunity to browse on my down time, and trust me I get to browse a lot. For your enjoyment I'll leave you with some highlights, or lowlights actually. Please excuse me if the jokes are paraphrased and not exact representations, although I can promise you that no cheesyness has been lost:

Q: What type of cigarettes do Jews smoke?

A: Gefiltered!

Q: Why do Jewish women love Chinese food?

A: Because Wonton spelled backwards is Not Now!

Q: What cheese do Jews prefer on their pizza?

A: Matza-rella!

Pretty awesome eh? Almost like you couldn't make them up yourself right? Mmm debatable, here are some of my own:

Q: What did the Moyel bring to dinner?

A: Bris-kit!

Q: Where do Jews store their expensive belongings?

A: In an Oy Gevalt!

Any noticeable difference?

And We're Back

2010-01-05T05:27:00.000-08:00

Last you heard of me I was on my way to an Idan Raichel concert. A lot has happened since then, especially concerning the bus ride to said concert (see picture below), but the important thing is that I'm still in Israel, Holy Shit!

Sorry for the lack of posts here, but I am now in Rehovot starting part II of the OTZMA program, and I fully intend to now keep up this blog, I hope some of you will intend on reading.

Idan Raichel

2009-10-25T03:40:00.000-07:00

Tonight as a group we are going to an Idan Raichel concert in Jerusalem. I really know nothing about him or his music but the always reliable Wikipedia tells me that his music is "distinctive for its fusion of electronics, traditional Hebrew texts, Middle Eastern and Ethiopian music." I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing but MASA has been kind enough to pay for our tickets and OTZMA is providing transportation (say whaaaaaa?), so I will be attending.

I'm obligated to hold my judgments until after the concert but I must say he kind of looks like a douche:

Right? Kind of like he's Adam Duritz's twin Israeli brother?

יש לי ספמפם

2009-10-21T03:45:00.000-07:00

יש לי ספמפם

I have a little mustache, just like someone we all know from the history books!

Charlie Chaplin!

Cheeseburgers

2009-10-18T14:05:00.001-07:00

I don't necessarily prefer cheese on a burger, but when you are in Israel and well most things are kosher, let's say you gain a little more appreciation for putting cheese on a burger. Of course adding grilled onions an over easy egg and a piece of steak on the burger doesn't hurt either.

That's what I had last night, and it was glorious.

Today we went to a few communities in the Negev, and let's just say that the Hebrew Israelite Community is pretty crazy. I don't mean to judge (well maybe I do), but they think it's common knowledge that when an animal is killed for food, it's scared soul enters said food. It's one thing to say as a whole humans eat too much red meat, that's probably true. It's another thing to say as a matter of fact that when humans eat red meat they are having the scared soul of a killed animal enter their own, that's probably not true.

They are also vegan and we had the opportunity to eat their food for dinner tonight. They made vegan shnitzel and vegan burgers, safe to say those both taste better when it's made with actual meat. A lot of the people in the group seemed to agree the food was really good, but how could you compare salad and tofu patties to the picture above? You just can't.

Go here or here to read more about the Hebrew Israelite Community and make up your own opinion, I think you already know mine.

Last Night/Today

2009-10-16T08:38:00.001-07:00

There are likely several places in Ashkelon to go party, but we only go to two of them. And since there are rumors of the other one closing, we went to the Marina...again, for a dual birthday party.

Things got messy as you can see in exhibit A:

After some minor verbal agreements to go the beach at 11am, it took until 2 to finally get there, which I guess is acceptable given the circumstances from the night before. I would have preferred to work on my base tan a little longer, but so is the horrible life of an OTZMAnik in Ashkelon, my white upper thighs will have to suffer this one.

It's Friday so that means Shabbat pot luck dinner (where you have your choice of 15 different salads and starches) but tonight I'll be sitting at a more exclusive table for dinner in the penthouse. Nothing else is on the dinner table for tonight except for the Yankee game (pun intended). As for tomorrow? Same old, same old, beach, chill, dinner, chill, Marina...

Shalom Y'all!

2009-10-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

I am in Israel for 10 months, or rather 9 months now that I've been here for over a full month. Anyways, if there are people interested in getting a sneak peak at my life and times in the holy land, than this is your place. I know what some of you are thinking, Holy Shit, Ben's in Israel!, that's what this blog is for. For those not in the know, I am on a program called OTZMA and it means strength in Heb, which is pretty badass, one of the main reasons if not THE reason why I chose this program.

Back to the juicy stuff, for the next 2 months I'll be going to the beach every day like I have for the first month in a town called Ashkelon, which is conveniently located just north of Gaza (it's true, we heard some very suspicious noises the other day on the beach!). I will also dab in some Hebrew (Ulpan) and maybe do some volunteering or play bball with some little kids and call it volunteering. After that I move on, but rather than focus on the future, let's recap the past!

I promise this blog won't be a boring daily recap, but maybe it's important to have one quickie of what I've done so far:

Got to Israel and did orientation for a week. I got to tell everyone that I went to Israel when I was a year old and haven't been back until now, that I'm from New York, and that I went to Indiana University about 15 times. We also did some hikes.
Got to Ashkelon and started going to the beach. We also have done some Ulpan.

There are obviously more details but that'd be annoying for me to write and for you to read.

More to come (if I feel like it) so stay tuned.

Shalom!